Contest for worst fiction Writing

Honoured: The award is in honour of novelist and playwright Edward George Bulwer Lytton, pictured, who coined one of the most widely known openings in English literature: 'It was a dark and stormy night'Entrants are encouraged to compose the opening sentence to the worst possible novel.

The winners for this year's competition have just recently been announced - with the overall winner coming from the UK.

Cathy Bryant, from Manchester, wrote this entry, which would surely be enough to make anybody put a book down.

'As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.'

The annual contest began in 1982 at San Jose State University and every year it attracts thousands of entrants.

Honoured: The award is in honour of novelist and playwright Edward George Bulwer Lytton, pictured, who coined one of the most widely known openings in English literature: 'It was a dark and stormy night'

The award is in honour of novelist and playwright Edward George Bulwer Lytton, whose novel published in 1830 called Paul Clifford contains one of the most widely known openings in English literature: 'It was a dark and stormy night' .

Another winner this year in the adventure section was Greg Homer, from Placerville, California, who came up with this:

Popular: The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest began in 1982 at San Jose State University, pictured, and every year it attracts thousands of entrants'The stifling atmosphere inside the Pink Dolphin Bar in the upper Amazon Basin carried barely enough oxygen for a man to survive – humid and thick the air was and full of little flying bugs, making the simple act of breathing like trying to suck hot Campbell’s Bean with Bacon soup through a paper straw.'

This entry by David Pepper, from Hermosa Beach in California, also won the Grand Panjandrum’s Special Award.

'As an ornithologist, George was fascinated by the fact that urine and feces mix in birds’ rectums to form a unified, homogeneous slurry that is expelled through defecation, although eying Greta's face, and sensing the reaction of the congregation, he immediately realized he should have used a different analogy to describe their relationship in his wedding vows.'

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Q&A

avatar
Where can I find a legitamate non-fiction writing contest online?

The ones I keep seeing look risky!

Very tough question. I would check out any comptetions with Preditors and Editors website and Absolute Write Water Cooler's Bewares and Background Checks before I sent anything in. Preditors and Editors also has a very good article on how to pick legit contests. If you join Absolute Write, there are forums where you can go and find new competetions listed. You can also communicate with others who write in your genre and discuss contests. Pax - C.